top of page
This page is for troubled spirits, especially those who have experienced or are experiencing abusive relationships. Click each image to reveal a caption that explains the statements further. Preference Evans created these messages based on her own personal experience. For reuse, please contact directly or provide credit by linking back to this page.
Inspiration & Motivation
to Heal
3 Quick Tips for Healing
Keep scrolling for additional motivation and inspiration.
IGNORE
Quick Tip for Healing: IGNORE
The tiniest things can stress you out when you feel overwhelmed with life.
When you feel like every part of your day is stressful, there's a strong chance that it's more YOU than the things around you.
What to do? Disregard anything that is not a true priority. If it doesn't have a major role in maintaining or improving your life, quietly step away from it, shut the door, and ignore!
The tiniest things can stress you out when you feel overwhelmed with life.
When you feel like every part of your day is stressful, there's a strong chance that it's more YOU than the things around you.
What to do? Disregard anything that is not a true priority. If it doesn't have a major role in maintaining or improving your life, quietly step away from it, shut the door, and ignore!
PURGE
Quick Tip for Healing: PURGE
Purging is a simple way to release negative energy.
One way you can do this is by hand writing your negative thoughts on paper.
Don't worry about making it neat, spelling things correctly, etc. Just write. Write until you are tired or you feel like you have gotten enough out.
When you are finished, use your hands to tear the paper into tiny pieces. Throw it in trash and breathe.
Purging is a simple way to release negative energy.
One way you can do this is by hand writing your negative thoughts on paper.
Don't worry about making it neat, spelling things correctly, etc. Just write. Write until you are tired or you feel like you have gotten enough out.
When you are finished, use your hands to tear the paper into tiny pieces. Throw it in trash and breathe.
RECALL
Quick Tip for Healing: RECALL
One simple way to feel better is to recall genuinely happy moments.
Think back to a time when you REALLY felt happy, no matter how long ago it was or how long it lasted.
What felt so good about that moment? Hold on to that feeling and repeat as often as necessary.
One simple way to feel better is to recall genuinely happy moments.
Think back to a time when you REALLY felt happy, no matter how long ago it was or how long it lasted.
What felt so good about that moment? Hold on to that feeling and repeat as often as necessary.
Reclaim Your Power
Solutions, Not Problems
"Focus on the solution, not the problem."
Do you pout because the flowerpot broke or do you figure out how to save the plant?
Stress does not eliminate stress so you have to identify what does and make it happen! If you are lost on your own, ask for help. Simple.
Do you pout because the flowerpot broke or do you figure out how to save the plant?
Stress does not eliminate stress so you have to identify what does and make it happen! If you are lost on your own, ask for help. Simple.
Use Solitude
"Use solitude as an opportunity."
If you are feeling lonely during the holidays or just in general, use your time to gain peace and look inward or just relax your mind.
No ideas? Try things like:
•Take a social media break
•Sort and organize papers
•Color in a coloring book or app
•List things you are grateful for
•Recall your happiest memories
•Do breathing exercises
•Read a book
•Write a poem
•Do puzzles (jigsaw, word, math)
•Listen to non-triggering music
•Write out a monthly plan for your future
Being alone doesn't have to FEEL lonely. Always look for a bright side.
If you are feeling lonely during the holidays or just in general, use your time to gain peace and look inward or just relax your mind.
No ideas? Try things like:
•Take a social media break
•Sort and organize papers
•Color in a coloring book or app
•List things you are grateful for
•Recall your happiest memories
•Do breathing exercises
•Read a book
•Write a poem
•Do puzzles (jigsaw, word, math)
•Listen to non-triggering music
•Write out a monthly plan for your future
Being alone doesn't have to FEEL lonely. Always look for a bright side.
You Choose
"You choose what lies ahead."
What's around that corner for you?
What's around that corner for you?
One Decision
"One decision can alter your entire course."
Despite anything that has happened in your world up to this point, take a quiet moment to ask yourself this question...
What choice can I make to ensure that I proceed on the best course for myself?
Despite anything that has happened in your world up to this point, take a quiet moment to ask yourself this question...
What choice can I make to ensure that I proceed on the best course for myself?
Don't Allow It
"Don't let the jungle around you become a part of you."
When things seem crazy and out of control in your world, you have two choices:
a) let the bad energy in
b) keep the bad energy out
When things seem crazy and out of control in your world, you have two choices:
a) let the bad energy in
b) keep the bad energy out
End or Beginning
"You can make it the end or the beginning."
When you feel like you've reached the end, STOP. Think.
How did you get here...right now? Whatever kept you going this long can carry you into a fresh new start.
Imagine what would give you the greatest amount joy if nothing stood in your way. See it and feel it.
Now go fight for it!
When you feel like you've reached the end, STOP. Think.
How did you get here...right now? Whatever kept you going this long can carry you into a fresh new start.
Imagine what would give you the greatest amount joy if nothing stood in your way. See it and feel it.
Now go fight for it!
Thoughts as Remedy
"Your thoughts can be your natural remedy."
Often, all it takes to improve a situation is a shift in thinking.
The Little Engine That Could taught many of us this early in life. What was his mantra again?
Often, all it takes to improve a situation is a shift in thinking.
The Little Engine That Could taught many of us this early in life. What was his mantra again?
Light IS There
"The light is just beyond the trees."
Sometimes we miss the light of hope ahead because of obstacles in our paths.
If you have a desire to persist, the things that once blocked your view of the light will disappear.
Remember, just because you can't see it doesn't mean it's not there.
Keep going until you see the glimmer...you're closer than you think.
Sometimes we miss the light of hope ahead because of obstacles in our paths.
If you have a desire to persist, the things that once blocked your view of the light will disappear.
Remember, just because you can't see it doesn't mean it's not there.
Keep going until you see the glimmer...you're closer than you think.
Protect Yourself
"Protect yourself as you heal and grow. "
Without fail, something or someone negative will appear or resurface when we are in the process of healing or reinventing ouselves.
Whatever you do, remain focused on your progress and do not allow them in.
Your future depends on it.✨
Without fail, something or someone negative will appear or resurface when we are in the process of healing or reinventing ouselves.
Whatever you do, remain focused on your progress and do not allow them in.
Your future depends on it.✨
Nurture or Destroy
"Will you nurture or destroy your self?
Your spirit is like a leaf, resilient yet fragile under too much pressure.
Are you caressing your self or are you crushing your self?
Every action you take is an example of what outcome you will have. If you're not sure HOW to nurture yourself, allow someone to help you.
Your spirit is like a leaf, resilient yet fragile under too much pressure.
Are you caressing your self or are you crushing your self?
Every action you take is an example of what outcome you will have. If you're not sure HOW to nurture yourself, allow someone to help you.
This Can Stop
"This can STOP."
STOP the hiding.
STOP the crying.
STOP the sadness.
STOP the madness.
STOP the emptiness.
STOP the arguing.
STOP the confusion.
STOP the nightmares.
STOP the shortness of breath.
STOP EVERYTHING CAUSING YOU PAIN.
All it takes is ONE decision.
Your worries can be transformed into wins. Feel peace, feel a new you.
STOP the hiding.
STOP the crying.
STOP the sadness.
STOP the madness.
STOP the emptiness.
STOP the arguing.
STOP the confusion.
STOP the nightmares.
STOP the shortness of breath.
STOP EVERYTHING CAUSING YOU PAIN.
All it takes is ONE decision.
Your worries can be transformed into wins. Feel peace, feel a new you.
Peace & Responsibility
"If your peace is at risk, it is your responsibility to save it."
Saving your peace is your responsibility, but it doesn't mean you have to do it all by yourself.
Saving your peace is your responsibility, but it doesn't mean you have to do it all by yourself.
Self Talk
"What is your self talk doing to you?"
Sit down and really think about this.
What are you saying to yourself about yourself...
•when you look in the mirror
•before you make decisions
•when you describe yourself
•in response to what others say
If your life depended on your self talk, would you be living or dying?
Sit down and really think about this.
What are you saying to yourself about yourself...
•when you look in the mirror
•before you make decisions
•when you describe yourself
•in response to what others say
If your life depended on your self talk, would you be living or dying?
Choose Wisely
"Choose your environment wisely."
A plant's growth is determined by several factors, however, its environment can promote one of two things:
>>>>>stagnation or growth<<<<<
The biggest difference between most people and plants...
Plants don't have an option.
You do.
A plant's growth is determined by several factors, however, its environment can promote one of two things:
>>>>>stagnation or growth<<<<<
The biggest difference between most people and plants...
Plants don't have an option.
You do.
Manure is Fertilizer
"When you think you've had enough of that []...remember that manure is fertilizer."
It might seem like the craziness of life has no bright side, but...
Once you get to the next phase, you understand exactly how it helped you grow.
It might seem like the craziness of life has no bright side, but...
Once you get to the next phase, you understand exactly how it helped you grow.
Block Interference
"If they interfere with your growth, block 'em!"
As a wise woman told me... if you're not an asset, you're a liability.
There's always one...lurking somewhere on standby to see your failure or trying to cause it.
When they start photobombing your life story with foolishness, remember that YOU are author of your book.
Mark them out. Simple.
As a wise woman told me... if you're not an asset, you're a liability.
There's always one...lurking somewhere on standby to see your failure or trying to cause it.
When they start photobombing your life story with foolishness, remember that YOU are author of your book.
Mark them out. Simple.
Hazardous Waiting
"Waiting on luck is a hazard. Making changes is much safer."
Sometimes we get so hung up in wishful thinking that we ignore reality.
Do you know how much time, energy, and other opportunities you've lost waiting for something nearly impossible to happen?
You MUST MAKE IT HAPPEN.
Sometimes we get so hung up in wishful thinking that we ignore reality.
Do you know how much time, energy, and other opportunities you've lost waiting for something nearly impossible to happen?
You MUST MAKE IT HAPPEN.
Nurturing Others
"Occasionally nurturing someone else's growth can be beneficial to you. "
Before you process this, keep in mind that nurturing someone else is NOT the same as sacrificing yourself. Got it?
Nurturing growth could mean:
offering a kind word
making a useful suggestion
providing free information
sharing a relevant experience
redirecting negative thoughts
When you are sincere and succinct, a great joy comes with it plus you get to grow too.
Before you process this, keep in mind that nurturing someone else is NOT the same as sacrificing yourself. Got it?
Nurturing growth could mean:
offering a kind word
making a useful suggestion
providing free information
sharing a relevant experience
redirecting negative thoughts
When you are sincere and succinct, a great joy comes with it plus you get to grow too.
Follow the Light
"If you can see light ahead, go that way."
Ever seen a houseplant leaning towards a window?
Light gives us life and plants will get as close as they can to their light source whether someone helps them or not.
When you see a light, don't turn away because it's not bright enough yet...
Lean closer until you grow far enough to reach more!
Ever seen a houseplant leaning towards a window?
Light gives us life and plants will get as close as they can to their light source whether someone helps them or not.
When you see a light, don't turn away because it's not bright enough yet...
Lean closer until you grow far enough to reach more!
Irrelevant Opinions
"Opinions of irrelevant people should not affect you."
Any words uttered by an insignificant person should pass through your mind like microscopic particles, dissolving as they travel.
One of my mentees asked me how I was able to get past other people judging me (in the case of an abusive relationship).
I gave her a general inventory...
They weren't there so they don't have enough information to make an informed decision.
They don't take care of me.
They don't take care of my children.
*Even if they happened to do 2 or 3, refer back to #1.
If they really knew me, I wouldn't have to worry about them second-guessing who I am.
Anybody who allows what someone else said (especially the abuser) to change their perception of me doesn't need to be in my space anyway.
Even when you lose, you win.
Any words uttered by an insignificant person should pass through your mind like microscopic particles, dissolving as they travel.
One of my mentees asked me how I was able to get past other people judging me (in the case of an abusive relationship).
I gave her a general inventory...
They weren't there so they don't have enough information to make an informed decision.
They don't take care of me.
They don't take care of my children.
*Even if they happened to do 2 or 3, refer back to #1.
If they really knew me, I wouldn't have to worry about them second-guessing who I am.
Anybody who allows what someone else said (especially the abuser) to change their perception of me doesn't need to be in my space anyway.
Even when you lose, you win.
Could Be You
This could be you.
Free Able to breatheAble to rest your mindAble to smile
Do you even know who or what has you feeling bound?
Free Able to breatheAble to rest your mindAble to smile
Do you even know who or what has you feeling bound?
Find the Source
"Find the source."
If you are feeling drained, you won't feel better until you identify what's causing it and face it.
Make a mental note of how "full" you feel...Are you at 75%? 50%? 25%???
If you're not at least 51%, you are in the danger zone and you need to find a solution quick!
If you need help finding your source and coming up with a solution, don't delay.
If you are feeling drained, you won't feel better until you identify what's causing it and face it.
Make a mental note of how "full" you feel...Are you at 75%? 50%? 25%???
If you're not at least 51%, you are in the danger zone and you need to find a solution quick!
If you need help finding your source and coming up with a solution, don't delay.
Be Selective
"Be selective."
You get to choose what you absorb and what you repel.
If you only accept things that support your growth, you will increase your life expectancy.
•If someone says something you don't like, don't absorb it.
•If someone says negative things about you that aren't true, don't absorb it.
This doesn't mean you can't react, but building a filter will allow you to make a better decision about the BEST way to react.
Keep in mind, everything doesn't require a response. You just don't have to RECEIVE everything directed at you as your truth.
You get to choose what you absorb and what you repel.
If you only accept things that support your growth, you will increase your life expectancy.
•If someone says something you don't like, don't absorb it.
•If someone says negative things about you that aren't true, don't absorb it.
This doesn't mean you can't react, but building a filter will allow you to make a better decision about the BEST way to react.
Keep in mind, everything doesn't require a response. You just don't have to RECEIVE everything directed at you as your truth.
Plant YOUR Seeds
"Plant seeds for your own growth."
It feels good to help other people... until you're drained, exhausted, and almost empty.
Who is making sure YOU are okay?
Don't let a sense of obligation or what you've "been doing" keep you from tending to you.
You can start refueling any day that you choose.
It feels good to help other people... until you're drained, exhausted, and almost empty.
Who is making sure YOU are okay?
Don't let a sense of obligation or what you've "been doing" keep you from tending to you.
You can start refueling any day that you choose.
Daylight Returns
"Daylight eventually returns. "
Night time can seem so long when your world is upside down.
Dark moments can feel even longer...
One thing you can be assured of is that the daylight will come and you'll have a fresh start to turn over a new leaf.
First, you have to see the new day as an opportunity rather than another dreaded 24 hours.
Then, you have to do as much as you can to make the most and the best of your opportunity.
What will you do when day breaks to show your appreciation for the ability to grow more?
Night time can seem so long when your world is upside down.
Dark moments can feel even longer...
One thing you can be assured of is that the daylight will come and you'll have a fresh start to turn over a new leaf.
First, you have to see the new day as an opportunity rather than another dreaded 24 hours.
Then, you have to do as much as you can to make the most and the best of your opportunity.
What will you do when day breaks to show your appreciation for the ability to grow more?
bottom of page